June 21, 2007

Why Can't the Church Be More Like a Pub [james]

A few of us got to the pub early-ish Friday night before the place filled up. We got a drink, played some darts, and then stuff happened. And it happened more than once.


If you go, it may happen to you, too: “Some random guy” is going up to the bar to get a drink, or maybe he is standing in line to play darts. He just starts talking to you like you’re a friend or acquaintance. It’s almost like he knows you, but he has momentarily spaced on your name. You’re not a threat to him; he sees you as someone against whom he holds no grudge and from whom he asks for nothing but courteous conversation. He’s just waiting for his beer or his turn at the throwing line. He’s not asking for a life story, but if you gave it, he might not mind too much. This is a pub, and this is where you can talk about such things. A “Cheers!” here, a glass clink there, and now you’re buddies.


Not being a regular patron of bars or pubs, this activity throws me for a loop. If there’s any place I’m not sure I want to “mix,” it’s in the pub. It’s as if I might be afraid to get someone else’s unholiness on me or something. (Either that, or I’m not much of a mingler. I’m sure the truth is in the middle).


I’m more familiar with the restaurant attitude of “my table is an island”: if a nearby table makes too much noise, other folks start to get a little uneasy. Imagine a stranger at a restaurant sitting down at your table and just start talking about stuff. You would think him mad or creepy. You just don’t do that.


In the pub, noise doesn’t matter. Table territories have soft borders. People don’t care as much about keeping others out. If you’re not a complete weirdo, then you’re like everyone else who happens to be enjoying an evening out in the company of 100 of your closest Guiness-loving friends.


If the pub people were at a restaurant, they’d all be at one, big, loud table. Maybe you don’t know everyone at the table, but that’s just because it’s so big that you haven’t been able to talk with everyone. Didn’t talk to ‘em all yet? No worries. These same jokesters will be around the next time you visit.


I saw this happening on Friday, and I instantly thought of the church. Why was it that in this night that I could feel more welcome in a pub than in a ‘holy’ place? Why are strangers, who don’t know whether I’m a visitor to this place or not, more apt to chat me up in this pub setting than in the foyer outside the Worship Centre?


The pub has its spirits, sure, and they affect how people act. Certainly not everyone will be as friendly as I describe here. But the church has her Spirit, too, and this Spirit is infinitely more interesting, more powerful, and more significant than the pub’s once you recognize It. And It’s supposed to affect how people act, and in a very good way.


Somedays I wonder if the pub is more welcoming and has a better view of “come as you are” than the church.


I see this as a problem and the solution starts with me. The next time I go to a church potluck, I'll bring the 6-pack. We need to start building some real community.

8 comments:

  1. I'm not sure that a 6-pack is the perfect solution... but hey... A for effort. ;-)

    I wish I had more pub experiences to have more thoughts on this... but I think I can count the number of times I've been in a pub on one hand. Good thoughts, though. I definitely don't always feel that comfortable in a church to just go up and start talking to someone... or maybe I get shy...

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  2. Hey James,

    Good post! It seems like one of the reasons is that people don't go to church to "hang out". They go to fulfill their Sunday (or Saturday night) and go home. By most church is seen as something you do for a couple hours as a spectator then leave. There's not enough teaching of the local church as a community, a body, a living organism that requires woven friendships. In the terms of your post, many churches are too much like a restaurant, and when you go to one that's more like a pub... it feels weird, but good.

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  3. Great stuff, James. The pub vs restaurant comparison is perfect.

    In youth ministry, we're always fighting uphill against "table territories". The idea that Christ-likeness necessarily means an active, intentional love for "strangers" hasn't struck most believers. The "arm-chair compassion" I practice so regularly (I suppose I should love my aunt more. After all, she is my aunt...) couldn't be further from Jesus' example when He was here (town to town, village to village, listening, touching, healing -- and all were perfect strangers).

    Jerking my brain out of enjoying-me-and-my-friends gear and into looking-for-someone-to-love gear isn't easy on the transmission (and I'm not convinced it's easier for "naturally gregarious" personalities) -- but it's often the first step toward making a real difference in somebody's life.

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  4. maybe pubs are more open because they just want the surface... maybe churchs are more closed because they jump to fixing instead of first knowing people.

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  5. well said. i'm going to see about getting a dart board install at our church.

    Rock on!

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  6. actually, i'm pretty sure that a 6-pack might loosen up the church folk a little more than the average potluck...

    i've wondered the question that leads off your post many a time.

    thanks for provoking the conversation.

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  7. You're right: there are definite weaknesses in the church as far as community goes. The funny thing is, though, that I've found most of my real community in groups formed inside the church, whereas--and maybe it's my shyness--I really don't get much out of the whole pub experience. It seems like it's always too loud to have a real conversation. Am I weird, or what? :-P

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  8. Strange question indeed, James. Having lived through the 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's...and Oops, half of the 50's I can only ask for your forgiveness for not being a "Right on", "Groovy", "Dart throwin'", "6-pack" kind of guy. Conversely, my observation of the Church is like a tippler staggering FROM a Pub, and I don't like it.

    The Church is not a building but blood washed saints who (in principal) live to glorify their Savior. So why would anyone want to compare Christians to those purposeless, shallow minded and superficial attendants in pubs? I can only hope it was a "desperate" attempt to address some of the true Churches short comings, but alas, your only solution to the problem is showing up at the next potluck dinner with a 6-pack.

    So, looking at your blog and all the comments, are we anymore the better? I wonder.

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