If I Had to Wait until You Had One Minute Left to Live… [jake]
You are my Eden, where I once did dwell
But God is now the angel guarding, with a sword of flame
I have been banished from my home, now sent through hell
And I am longing to return to my Eden again
I am now labeled as a wanderer
Like a murderer I own the mark of Cain
I feel I have a home no longer
Missing my old Eden, where I have left you slain
And now it seems I find you as a beach
Stretching like dreams, vast beyond my reach
I try to hold you in my hand
But you sift through my fingers just as the sand
And no matter how many jars I fill to the brim
In attempt to be with you again
I could not possibly carry them all…
…It seems I’ve been given a sieve
That you spill right through
So much so that what I want to retrieve
I instead must leave with you
Because I try to hold you in my hand
As you sift through my fingers for you are sand
I cannot understand or explain
What has been planned
Or show you where it is that you stand
In this land of life yet-undiscovered
But my soul perpetually hovers
In search, like a lost lover, for my blocked beloved
So listen closely for the sound of this
Soldier scouting out unrecovered ground
That he still sees as home…
…So as Moses to his promised land
To which he led his people through wilderness
All those years I will wait and stand
Outside the gate
Waiting for God and fate
To satiate my desire to step in
I no longer want to roam
But to return again
I want to enter into my home
To reclaim my beloved, my Eden
I will, my love
I will see you again
.fav.
ReplyDelete"Or show you where it is that you stand / In this land of life yet-undiscovered / But my soul perpetually hovers / In search, like a lost lover, for my blocked beloved"
Love it.
ReplyDeleteRead Hebrews 4...especially the last 5 verses.
Really beautiful... heartbreaking and sweet.
ReplyDeleteI love the first two lines especially.
I no longer want to roam/
ReplyDeleteBut to return again
I feel that. This poem speaks profoundly to a need I consistently dwell in and a Source from which I consistently retreat. Thanks for this piece.
And now it seems I find you as a beach
ReplyDelete"Stretching like dreams, vast beyond my reach
I try to hold you in my hand
But you sift through my fingers just as the sand
And no matter how many jars I fill to the brim
In attempt to be with you again
I could not possibly carry them all…"
i love that part. really beautiful.
Sometimes the reason we don't want to turn off the television is because then we are left with the reflection of ourselves.
ReplyDeleteFinding Jesus is hard when it means overcoming our own wants -- it is dying to self -- painful and totally against our self and our culture.
I pray that God puts an amazing friend/mentor into your life. I have been there, my friend, looking at a snowy landscape without end. Looking for life and only seeing a wodden cross in the ground indicating a graveyard rather than Jesus, Himself.
Keep searching and know that if you are willing to look at yourself in the mirror and see yourself for who you truly are, He will embrace you. There just might be a lot to wade through, a lot of lies to confront, a lot of emotion. Also, in the poem, you are on the beach alone?
Why is that?
If we are ONE body where are your helpers, those willing to partake in the lonliness of your isolation? Bitterness toward others?
Cry out to God for a helper to walk with you and take your hand -- even Elijah was given Elisha when he told God he wanted to die.
Read 1 Kings 19:1-16
John 4:7-25
And remember that even jesus felt alone. Remember when he asked his disciples to pray for him at the Garden of gesthemane the night before he was betrayed and they did not? How was he ever able to trust God and trust them again?