Shallow Pool [theodora]
I've always been one to second guess,
whether I am worth more or less
than what I feel
to be fake or to be real.
My inadequacies are plentiful
maybe somewhat pitiful.
I seem to bathe in my fraility,
wash myself in my depravity,
sink into the incompleteness
of all humanity.
"I want this" and "I want that",
"I am untalented" and
"I am fat".
I forget the bones of children
the hurting and the broken
laying seas away,
while I am swallowed up by
the idiotic worries of today.
"Damn it!" I say and I try to care
but isn't that unfair
if I consciously have to stop and think
that today there will be some who will not
eat and will not drink and will not sleep?
I don't remember, because my eyes are shut.
but:
Shame on me! selfish soul who is so
sarcastic, sick, slick and can't stomach
the idea of it being less and less
about me and my mess,
and more about others. and I fear
Unless! I see the error of my ways,
and recognize how my soul daily decays,
I will always be in this shallow pool
being known as the fool
who can't find peace in the turbulant waters
of having so many treasures and being just
the self absorbed child with so many toys
but so little true joy
some poems aren't meant for reading, others for hearing. When I read this, I want to speak it in rhythm and a bit of angst.
ReplyDelete.fav.
"the self absorbed child with so many toys"
Haha, I agree. This is the only poem I ever wrote with the INTENTION of speaking it!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteHave you posted this elsewhere? Facebook or something? It feels familiar to me.
ReplyDeleteKeep writing poetry--I enjoyed it!
"Shame on me! selfish soul who is so
sarcastic, sick, slick and can't stomach
the idea of it being less and less
about me and my mess,
and more about others. and I fear
Unless! ..."
^
|
Really on fire right there! Loved it.
"the fool
ReplyDeletewho can't find peace in the turbulent waters
of having so many treasures"
...aren't we all. The American dream becomes the American curse. It's hard to stand where we are and visualize what unselfishness should really look like.
Good poem. Thanks ...
"being known as the fool
ReplyDeletewho can't find peace in the turbulant waters
of having so many treasures and being just
the self absorbed child with so many toys
but so little true joy"
i agree with Justin, I would love to hear it. You should read at open mic at mjs if they are stilling doing it. I think its Mondays at 9.
You have definitely captured, as Jenna says, "the American curse" of selfishness joined with a guilt complex. There is so much here that I could talk about for hours and that speaks to me of good writing (layers upon layers of analysis does not touch it).
ReplyDeleteI too started reading out loud when I got to your post.
Yeah, this really flows. Reminds me of Romans 7 and Paul's flow. Really good stuff.
ReplyDeleteGood words, Teddi. I enjoy the flow of this too and the rhyme feels natural.
ReplyDelete"I seem to bathe in my frailty,
wash myself in my depravity"
I like these lines especially for the irony of them, that bathing is about cleansing and yet so often we bath only in what makes us less clean. Keep thinking in metaphors.
Unless! I see the error of my ways,
ReplyDeleteand recognize how my soul daily decays,
Herein lies the hope. Good words. I like the exclamation point. It feels like an "Aha! All is not lost" moment.