November 21, 2008

This I Believe [guest]

I believe in regret.

This belief in regret has given the courage to break out, and break up. Before my belief I lived a safe life, staying within the walls that had been erected for my safety and success. I thought that life was about security and success, risk losing those and risk losing happiness. A safe life meant living carefully and following the rules.

During my freshman year in college I worked in a Hospice inpatient unit as a nurse's assistant that forever changed my view on life and instilled within me a sense of wonder regarding life. While working for Hospice I met some remarkable people who taught me how to live and love. At a mere 19 years old I was suddenly faced with questions about mortality and how I wanted to live my life and how would I feel when it was my time to die?

Would I be the patient who died with the crippling powerlessness of regret or would I be the patient who knew that she had lived life as fully as possible without major regrets?

Regret can touch our lives in many ways. Most often we feel its tentacles with late apologies, the flowers that we never sent but should have, the love we failed to give away, and time spent doing instead of being. I watched the pain of regret loom over people like a dark cloud that rendered them helpless and in pain. It was too late to do what they had not done-and they could not undue what had been done.

These were good people, people who by all accounts should have been okay with the way they lived their life, they were generous, good family people that resembled me - yet they regretted the things they never did. I am not sure why they didn't do what they wanted to, I don't think it's my place to figure that out. But I have decided to learn from them and honor their lives and deaths by living mine.

I thought about running a marathon, and I knew that I would regret not running one more then I would regret doing one - so, I did it. I loved with my heart wide open knowing full well that it would possibly get shattered... and and sure enough it did, but I still love - I can't not love as the pain of not loving is worse then the pain of a broken heart which always heals. I laugh hard, and I cry hard, because I will regret holding back. Now, I live with the cloud of regret looming over my head but instead of raining down powerlessness, it gives me shade from the harsh sun.

I believe in regret because it has opened up my heart and allowed me to run through open fields all the while sharing my life with others. This I believe.


Summer Lillie is a 27 year old girl who is taking it one day at a time with a great big dream to love the world - one sick person at a time.


...continue reading...

Deep [jake]

I want to believe that there is a point
At which the pain stops
I want to believe I will eventually reach
My destination; then I can finally quit
Seeing myself: the sum and reflection
Of my fruitless efforts

Wouldn’t it be great if Buddha was right?
If all we needed to do was find a way
To cease to be
To stop existing
Because wishing for death
Is getting a little pessimistic

There is an end; there is a star we all chase
There is a completion of time and a place
In which we can all rest
I believe in this place where fulfillment exists
I believe in this place where all things consist
I believe that pain stops,
No matter how great
Death consumes itself and we no longer
See ourselves, or the cuts
On our rough and tired hands: the suffering
Of fruitless struggles

Wouldn’t it be great to recognize all of time
In its proper place and for what it is?
Maybe then I could see this symphony around me
And blend the movements of life and death
Maybe then I could hear this dance
Like breathing, and not just a single breath
Each exhale not an ending of one, but
A part of the whole progression

In quiet moments with eyes closed
For a flicker in my dreams, I see
Glory and pain as mirror images and I stop
Digging deep for escape and I start
Burying myself deep in the bosom of God
Planting myself in His lungs


...continue reading...

November 18, 2008

233, 511, Everywhere [jake]

I don’t like going to bed alone
I don’t like coming to an empty home
I don’t like having nothing to do
     And no one around to do it with
I don’t like staying in
     While others go out
I don’t like being quiet
     When the group is allowed to shout
But I hate being a riot
     If silence snatches every other mouth
There is something to sleeping solo
     That gets under my skin
There is something to a vacant house
     That needs to let someone in
There is something to time and solitude
     That taunts me in my heart
Knowing—at least feeling—that the neighborhood
     Is playing in the yard
     Across the street
Why couldn’t anyone send an invite me?

My soul was meant to share
My mind was meant to mingle
My spirit screams to be a part
     Of every single
     Thing
My heart
     Was meant to sing
     In a chorus—
     I’m not a solo-artist
I’ve got no side project
My body was meant to be by breathers like me
And it’s no wonder why
     This only bystander
     Feels empty
     Without someone to stand by

But please stand by
     Because this broadcast is about to change—
This is a public service announcement
     To all whom with I have exchanged:
I believe that One is with me
     Who indeed has never gone
He’s never left or rejected
     These principles that I stand on
My soul has been surrounded
And my mind has many friends
His Spirit always seems to be
     Where mine, He packages and sends
My heart plays strings
     In a band of glorious things
     And it sings and it sings and it sings
Of what my God has done
My body, broken by the Son
     Has been reborn
     And filled with holy company
That stands by me
     Before I ever went to bed alone
He is the sheets that cover me
     And the light that fills my home


...continue reading...

Her Dad's Eyes [kris]

The last time I saw him was in April when I was in Mrs. Bale’s fourth grade class. He dropped us off at school that morning. They didn’t tell us much (me, Joey, Chris), just that something terrible happened. All we know is that it made Mom cry, a lot, and made Dad go away forever. They didn’t tell us what it was called or where it came from, but when we listened for it, we heard it. A secret, floating in the thick, stinging air, and into the telephone wires, traveling hundreds of miles over big green lakes, winding muddy rivers, and stretch out grey highways, from New York City to Chicago, St. Louis, Seattle—speeding through lines quicker than the NASCAR racers Joey and Chris like to watch on TV. The word that sticks out, the one all of the traveling secrets and whispers have in common, is suicide. I am nine and starting to feel it but I think it was always with me.

Dad is gone and I find the mysterious word everywhere. In a news blurb when I was watching “Animaniacs” and “Seinfeld” after school in the den—“A fourteen year old boy was found dead this morning, hung from a wooden rafter in the garage of his family’s suburban home. The Westchester Police have ruled out foul play and are convinced it was suicide. . .” and in moves, like “Girl Interrupted” when Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie find Britney Murphy in the bathroom, and her face looks cold and purple like she has grape juice underneath her skin—because of the word.

We never talk about the word at school or at church, or at the dinner table. Sometimes I’m not sure I know what it means—maybe I got confused and the word isn’t why Dad is gone. Sometimes I even think I made the word up in my head. Mom and Chris never say it, and they don’t talk about Dad either. Sometimes Joey forgets and asks when Dad is coming home and Chris gets mad at him for being “stupid.” Joey doesn’t know what the word means either and he doesn’t understand that it took Dad away forever.

I don’t think my friends know about the word. We don’t talk about it when we play freeze tag, or soccer, or “high school cheerleader girls with cute boyfriends.” We do talk about everything else though, the apartments we’re going to have in New York City in twenty-seven story buildings with scratchy green Astroturf tennis courts on the rooftops and blue striped sun umbrellas with matching lounge chairs where we will sit at night sipping fancy drinks from crystal glasses with long delicate stems. We pretend to sit in our expensive lounge chairs and look out at the silver skyscrapers, turquoise ocean, and the Statue of Liberty, “Libby,” who has turned mossy green like the old pennies Mom has in the bottom of her purse. Sometimes we talk about scary things too, like how the football player OJ Simpson (who we saw a picture of on one of Joey’s trading cards) went crazy and murdered his wife, and about how a guy named Hannibal Lector got so hungry that he ate actual people like they were chicken or something. We read stories from the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark book about misty ghosts that open and shut doors late at night, and about rotting green corpses that come alive when its dark outside. My friends and I talk about all of these things, but never about the thing that took Dad, except once.

Weekday evenings in the summer, between eight and nine o’clock, me and Susan pop tar bubbles in the street. When the air is warm and thick, and the top of the sky is cool lavender, then hazy tangerine and bright pink where it meets the houses on Susan’s side of the street, we walk the black tar strips that outline sections of sandy colored pavement between our driveways, tracing the four small squares that make up one big square starting at my mailbox and ending across the street at Susan’s. We watch it all day. The dark, sticky tar boiling in the mid-morning sun while we are at swim practice, thinner and runnier in the afternoon heat while we are swinging in the backyard and cutting trails in the woods behind my house, trying to find the secret treasure (ceramic knick knacks from the fancy living room) hidden by Black Bellamy and his band of pirates. At the end of the afternoon, when the treasure is found and our interest in swinging and swimming lost, the tar is thin and shiny and loose in the cracks. We wait until after dinner when the hotness from earlier has fled, trapping small pockets of air underneath the thin top layers of tar that cool quickest. We trace the squares on tip toes, pressing our big toes into the bubbles, and then flattening the soles of our feet onto the pavement, making the noise pink chewing gum makes when you blow a bubble and then quickly suck it back against your lips and teeth. It was a weeknight in August and we were popping tar bubbles when we talked about it.

“Yah know what I heard on TV today?” I said, concentrating on popping a bubble with my toe.
“What?” Susan asked.
“I heard that a boy died in his garage.”
“What happened to him?”
“He was hung with a rope.”
Susan stopped. “Somebody hung him in his garage?”
“Not somebody,” I said, still focusing on the tar, “he did it himself.”
She paused, “Why would he do that?”
“I don’t know.”
Susan looked down and continued tracing the lines, “Maybe it was an accident.”
“I guess.”
That was all we said. I thought about it though, about Brittany Murphy, the boy in his garage, and Dad. Maybe the boy didn’t like his parents, and in the movie Britney was sad. Did Dad not like Mom, or Chris and Joey, or me? Was he angry or sad because of us? Maybe it was God that messed up, except at Church they say that God doesn’t do that. It could have been an accident, like Susan said—but if it was an accident then why didn’t anybody say that? It Dad didn’t have an accident, and God didn’t make a mistake, and I didn’t make the word up, does that mean Dad wanted to leave us?
* * *
Five years later I could have been the boy from TV. It was spring again, Chris was eighteen and in his freshman year at Tulane. He moved out at the end of the summer and had been home twice since, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mom said he didn’t come home a lot because his classes were harder now and he had lots of work. He’s going to be a lawyer like Dad. Mom was working again too, in a doctor’s office downtown. Joey was ten years old, and in fifth grade. He started playing soccer and baseball, and he didn’t ask when Dad was coming home anymore. I was in ninth grade at Parkview High School. I was fourteen, it had been with me a long while, and it was about to end.

I can’t blame what I did on the new school, because for a while I loved it. Like first semester when I got to play Bunny Flingus in the underclassmen play, “The House of Blue Leaves,” or homecoming when Greg Strate, a sophomore on the varsity swim team, asked me to be his date for the dance. I can’t blame it on being lonely (even though I was alone), I had friends at school, at home, and at church. It wasn’t because I listened to Linkin Park, Eminem, and sometimes Marilyn Manson, or because I’d seen “Girl Interrupted,” or “The Virgin Suicides.” And I didn’t do it because I was copying what I heard on the news, people sometimes think that. It’s not Dad’s fault, but I know people think that too. They think it’s an infection, but they’re wrong. It was in me before Dad left us, he didn’t pass it on to me like strep throat or the twenty-four hour flu. I guess I just wasn’t interested in things anymore—and that’s when the feeling took over.

Even the simple things I used to like seemed exhausting once it took over. On Sunday nights Mom and me liked to curl up on the leather sofa in our den with fleece blankets and big bowls of butter popcorn to watch 11 o’clock movies on channel six, old movies like “Casablanca” and “Citizen Kane.” It was my favorite thing to do and by the time I was fifteen even that wasn’t enough to make me okay again. The sense of dread that had been growing deep in me had become overwhelming. I started to slip away.

My bout started innocently enough. It wasn’t something I was really going to do—just a dark and placid little fantasy I kept tucked away inside. A secret I held on to, an escape that in some obscure way kept me going. I could only let the feelings surface when no one would know. When I needed that I went to my room and hid in the closet. I would curl into a ball with my knees hugged tightly to my chest, pressed between wool sweaters, silky pink and black dressed, fall jackets, and blue jeans. I sat in the cramped closet, surrounded by old Nikes, Docs, patent leather church shoes with the tags still on them, flip-flops, and furry snow boots. I closed my eyes, and drifted away. Sometimes I cried, and sometimes I rested my head against the sliding door and floated in the darkness behind my eyelids—losing sense of time by hours. My dangerous flirtation wasn’t violent, the point wasn’t how it would end, it was what there would be after. Blank space and quiet. It was so alluring I couldn’t stand it. I was obsessed. It was the only escape I could imagine that would free me from the thoughts that lead in circles, the way I felt late at night when I couldn’t be distracted from myself anymore, the questions that plagued me—the ones no one could answer. . .the idea of escaping was more than tempting, I was addicted.
* * *
Tuesday, June first was the last day, ten days after my fifteenth birthday. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, school was uneventful, drama club was fine, but in me I knew it was the day. Instinct. On Tuesdays Mom got home from work after seven, and Joey went home with a friend from school and then to soccer practice at six-thirty. On this Tuesday I got home just after six. The house was empty and quiet except for the soft hum of the air conditioner and the creak I caused in the wood beneath the powder blue carpet as I walked up the stairs to the second floor bathroom.

Once inside I locked the door, flipped the light switch on the left wall, and dropped my navy Eastpack on the cool tile floor. I leaned across the marble sink to open the medicine cabinet behind the mirror. Generic aspirin, Cortisone Ten, silver nail clippers, a Dixie cup of Q-tips, Tylenol, Pepto-Bismol tablets, and on the second shelf Band-Aids, cotton balls, a navy razor. . . I reached for the aspirin bottle on the first shelf, and then felt its weight in my hands. It was almost full. I held it sideways to read the printed warning label. “Do not exceed eight tablets in a twenty-four hour period. If this occurs call the poison control center immediately. . .” I twisted off the child safety lid and tilted the bottle. The pills fell gently into the palm of my left hand—reminding me of the Wintergreen Altoids Chris used to keep in the front pouch of his backpack. I set the plastic bottle and its lid on the sink, and carefully examined the small pills. Each one was powdery and bleach white like fresh snow. I curled my fingers around the pills, pressing them firmly into my palm. When I relaxed my hand the pills stuck gently to my clammy skin. Carefully I let two of them fall into my cupped right hand, then tossed them into my mouth and let them roll down my throat. Two more went. Then three—but as I reached my head back to swallow these three I caught a glimpse of myself in the cabinet mirror. A fair skinned girl, five-seven or eight with long blonde brown locks and warm honey eyes. Her Dad’s eyes. This girl, frozen in front of the mirror in a plain white shirt and blue jeans—half a bottle of aspirin in her left hand, three more in her mouth, four more dissolving in her stomach. My hand relaxed and the remaining pills fell to the tile, each one bouncing once or twice as they spread across the floor and settled. I leaned over the sink and spit out the three pills that had stalled in the back of my throat. Tears rose and I became aware of my quickened heart beat. I looked up to see Michelle Skinner gazing back at me, awake and alive, maybe for the first time.


...continue reading...

November 14, 2008

The Election [jay]

Well, we did it --- and I am so glad we did. Barack Obama is president and everything seems to be as it was meant to be.

Now, if you’re a liberal, don’t be so happy. And if you’re a conservative, don’t lose it on me. I voted for McCain. But I am very happy that Obama is president.

For the greater part of my existence on this earth, and mainly through the avenue of the Church, I have watched over and participated in trying to keep America strong in its Judeo-Christian posture toward all things. My earliest memories politically are of Reagan winning the cold war and solidifying trickle-down economics as true capitalistic procedure. George H.W. Bush was next, standing bravely for freedom against the Muslim hordes of Saddam Hussein in Kuwait. In we swept, the great Christian nation, defending those who could not defend themselves and a great victory was won. But as we won in the Persian Gulf, the economy started going downhill in America and a dark horse from Arkansas named Bill Clinton rode a ticket of Change (sound familiar?) – with the key question: Are you better off today than you were four years ago? Screw defending freedom and helping those who cannot help themselves, in 1994 we gladly turned our backs on the man who led us in these ideals in order to answer Clinton’s most selfish of all questions with an affirmative “We deserve more!” And more we got. The prosperity of the 90’s can only be compared with the Roaring 20’s. And with money in our pockets and sub-prime mortgages for Joe The Plumber on the horizon, life was good.

How I remember the church, almost gleeful at the Monica Lewinsky scandal. Here was a guy empty enough in some part of himself to risk his family and his office in order to receive love in a way never intended for him, and we offer condemnation. Was he wrong? Of course. Did he lie? Yep. Should he have been impeached? Probably. But the Body of Christ did not love Bill Clinton, we condemned him. Where were the spiritual counselors offered to Ted Haggard at that point in Clinton’s life? Where were the prayer vigils roused for George Bush’s candidacy?

With a typical “we-told-you-so” posture, the evangelical vote swelled to record numbers in 2000 and secured the presidency for George Bush. 9/11 led to fear, which led to Afghanistan, which led to fear, which led to WMD’s, which led to fear, which led to Iraq, which led to fear, which led to a long war, which led to fear, which led to discontentment, which led to fear – you get the point. Pour the financial distress of the last few months on top of all that and I don’t think the greatest Republican who ever lived – Jefferson or Reagan – could have beaten Obama.

Nor am I sure that they should have.

Presidents pacify Evangelicals. What else are they supposed to do? Evangelicals are not the only people that presidents are called to represent. In fact, they are a small portion of the people they are to represent. In my opinion, the problem is not with the president, it is with the Church.

We Christians greatly over-estimate the power of politics to actually change anything. Government is meant to govern society, not change society. “Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord” is not a political statement, it is a personal statement. A nation is not a nation without the people who live in the nation. America is not America without Americans. Therefore, the only way that “Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord” can be true is if “Blessed is the [man, woman, child, family, neighborhood, village, hamlet, city, crackhouse, town, base, district, church, prison, whorehouse, fort, factory, office, school, bar, barracks, team, courthouse, institution, plant, camp, bank, store, zone, temple] whose God is the Lord”. I am not saying that Christians should not be involved in politics, on the contrary, I deeply believe in it. What I am saying is that having a Christian in government means that person’s call is to govern society as a Christian, not change society for us who put them in their office. No one person can change society. Only the Body of Christ can offer what the people in our country and world truly need. Societal change that is not a result of the life of Jesus flowing through His Body is not societal change. It is simply a shift from one idol to another idol. Lady Liberty with a picture of Jesus’ face taped over her face is neither Jesus nor Liberty.

Which is why I am so happy that Barack Obama is president. We have finally just stated what we should have stated a long time ago: “We are a secular nation”. The actual reality of an American Judeo-Christian ethic is hardly Judeo and even less Christian and it’s high time that we called a spade a spade. As a nation, we don’t care at all what God thinks. There need be no more half-ass stupidity about running the nation according to the will of God or ridding this place of abortion or protecting marriage the way it was meant to be. It is not a politician’s call to do these things, it is the Church’s call. Roe v Wade is not the reason why abortion is everywhere in America. Abortion is everywhere in America because selfishness and greed are everywhere in America. Government cannot change people’s selfishness and greed, only Jesus can. The Church is His Body that lives this message of change.

Barack Obama as president opens a door to authenticity and reality for which the spirit of our country has been screaming. Having a president who pacifies our religious pontifications and pompousness with subtle nods of the head here and there has done jack-squat for the furthering of the transformation that is the death and resurrection of Christ. I love Obama because he seems to say what he thinks. He promised absolutely everything to everyone and I don’t think there’s any possible way he can deliver, but I think that he thinks he can. And I respect that.

Obama is not going to try to pacify Evangelicals with concern for abortion or legislatively protecting marriage, and he has said as much. He has socialist leanings in regard to economic policy and he has clearly stated what those leanings are. Are these things important? You better believe it. But now the onus for responsibility for change lies where it was meant to lie. The Church can no longer sluff it off on politicians who claim to be Christian and then condemn them when they don’t pull off the expectations that we should really have of ourselves. Now we may have to actually leave the comfort and convenience of our McMansions and mega-churches and do the work of Jesus.

God bless you, Mr. President-Elect. I pray for His mercies on you and your family, for protection from evil. I thank God for you and pray that you would know and experience the mediating work of Christ that will transform your spirit and breathe life into the deepest parts of you. May the joy of the Lord be your strength, may you have fullness of joy and may you find that joy only in Christ.

I pray the same for myself, my family, my friends, my church, the Church. God grant us repentance, mercy, grace and transformation.


...continue reading...