Nonabel [jay]

The land of Nonabel was beautiful place of lush green mountains ruled by majestic trees and valleys with fish-filled streams running through them. Every day the sun rose and every night the sun would set, and the time in between was filled with wonder and delight for all the inhabitants of the happy land.

Then one day, some people from another land happened upon this choice peace of beauty and decided to make it their home. Because the land of Nonabel was large and expansive, it was declared a kingdom that was divided into four provinces ruled by four governors.

The first governor ruled the Land of Business.

The second governor ruled the Land of Politics.

The third governor ruled the Land of Family.

The fourth governor ruled the Land of Church.

Each citizen paid taxes annually to the government to ensure the efficient and healthy growth of the kingdom. The governors distributed the funds to the each province as was seen fit by a selected group of leaders that no one knew personally but that everyone was sure they did not like and could not trust.

The citizens of Nonabel would live their lives in the various provinces, moving from one to another through the course of a day as fit their needs. When it was time to work and make money, they would catch the tram to the Land of Business. Important decisions were made in the Land of Politics, while love, peace and harmony were sought out in the Land of Family. No one was truly sure what the Land of Church was for, although an archaic manuscript was discovered that seemed to speak authoritatively to the matter. But the manuscript was strangely worded and understanding it would require reading it and discussing it, and reading it and discussing it would mean lots of work and possible conflict and things were going so well in the other three provinces that the citizens really wanted to concentrate their time there. So at a regular Tuesday night meeting of The Discussion Of Important Things in the Land of Politics, a decision was unanimously passed to simply divide the province of Church into a thousand tiny provinces. The governors of the lands of Business, Politics and Family simply passed a resolution that required the small provinces of the Land of Church get along as well as they could and not stir up too much trouble. In fact, as a measure of safety and peace, an amendment was added that everyone should simply reserve their time in the province of Church to one morning per week – Sunday as it turned out -- except for some select rebellious splinter groups who chose to meet Sunday evening as well (mostly people who called themselves Baptist and Pentecostal). This decision was wonderfully received and everyone loved the way it made them feel. Nonabelians even began dressing up for the occasion.

No one really knew what happened to the governor of Land of Church. As it turned out, He was asked by the citizens of the kingdom to remain in hiding except for Sunday mornings. He could be a pretty demanding fellow and the people didn’t want Him stirring things up when affairs in the other provinces were going so well. The governor of the Land of Church was pretty offended by this request and decided that, for the most part, He wasn’t going to show up where He wasn’t invited. Very few people in the kingdom of Nonabel could hardly find the time to issue such an invitation or pursue such a relationship. He even went so far as to suggest that He be allowed to run the whole Kingdom. That was a bit too much for the Nonabelians. As stated before, He could be demanding.

These arrangements were put into effect immediately and the people enjoyed overall happiness and prosperity. Concentrating all their efforts on three provinces instead of four provided a streamlined form of capitalistic bliss that put money in the Nonabelians’ pockets and stuff in their lives. There were the occasional disputes here and there, but a firm hand from the governors of the Lands of Politics and Business kept things moving very smoothly.

Then something began to go terribly wrong in the kingdom of Nonabel.

In the Land of Family, the fathers and mothers began to leave. Eventually, a search party would be formed, and they were almost always located in the Land of Business or Politics with him passed out in a gutter, or her at the office late at night, or with his arm around a woman who was not his wife, or with her at another endless meeting of The Discussion Of Important Things. This absence of fathers and mothers caused a massive disconnect in the homes of the Land of Family. Overworked and undervalued, the mothers and fathers became control freaks who, according to the fathers, “won’t stop nagging” and according to the mothers, “won’t see me”. This tension between mother and father drove peace and harmony out of the Land of Family altogether. And the children felt like orphans.

This concern was taken up by the governors of the Kingdom of Nonabel. They called for a joint meeting of the governors at the next Discussion Of Important Things to talk about this issue at work in the Land of Family. Of course, no one knew where the governor of the Land of Church was. A letter of invitation was sent to His last known address, but secretly, the other governors hoped He wouldn’t show. After all, He could be a demanding fellow.

The next Discussion Of Important Things was the most well attended meeting in the kingdom’s history. It seemed like every Nonabelian in the land had come out for this Discussion Of Important Things. As the meeting opened, it was noted that the governor of the Land of Church had indeed received His invitation. He was standing outside the door of the meeting hall but, for some crazy reason, would not enter unless personally invited to come in and granted permission to run the Kingdom. He said He had brought Kentucky Fried Chicken for everyone and He could break more if there were more people than there were biscuits and chicken. The governors declined His invitation stating that they just weren’t comfortable with the demands of such a governor. KFC would be nice, but His presence was not worth the cost of their power. The people unanimously agreed. They suggested He disperse the chicken and biscuits to the tiny provinces of the Land of Church for the Sunday morning time that week. He agreed, stating His desire to not run them over, and that He would simply stand outside the door for the duration of the meeting and knock. The first resolution passed that evening was to cover all the doors of the meeting hall with foam padding.

The meeting continued with each of the governors voicing their profound concern over this absence of fathers and mothers in the Land of Family. Therefore, three other resolutions were passed that night to curb the lack of peace and harmony in the Land of Family:

1. A time of freedom was established that would coincide with time spent in the Land of Church. This declared time of peace was to be known as “weekend”. Things were declared to be peaceful during this time and parents were to cater to the needs of their children for this two day period. “Being a taxi service is no shame”, the governors would say. “You don’t have to talk to the other parents during this time” they would declare. Just be peaceful. Engagement in the affairs of the Lands of Business and Politics during this weekend was encouraged, but not mandatory.

2. A longer time of freedom was established. This two week period was to be known as “vacation”. Families were to live for this judicious experience together – the ultimate in peace and harmony. It was reasoned that the obvious lack of peace and harmony (some even used the word “love”) could easily be rectified with this extended time of concentration on said virtues. The governors also assured the fathers and mothers that this “vacation” would curb the complaints of children that they were tired of being forgotten. How could a kid feel bad about his home life while having his feelings anesthetized in the indulging of extreme excess at Disney Land?

3. Every citizen in the land of Nonabel received part of their yearly income tax, as well as part of next year’s income tax refund, direct deposited into their checking account. The governor of the Land of Politics put it this way: “A good bit of money that looks like a gift even though it was their money to begin with will shut the mouth of even the most virtuous of people.” He wasn’t far from wrong.

The citizens of Nonabel in attendance at that Discussion of Important Things left the meeting hall extremely pleased with the outcome of their time together. No one actually believed that peace and harmony would be restored, but they were very satisfied to have something to live for in the form of “weekend” and “vacation” and very pleased with a gesture of monetary generosity from the governors of the kingdom. The incessant thumping on the door of the meeting hall was a bit distracting. But after the meeting concluded He had set up a table with the chicken and biscuits and a note attached to it that read:

I’ll keep knocking, and whenever you want to open the door and let me in, I will show up with chicken and biscuits and sit down and hang out with you while we eat. Bloody knuckles are worth it for you.

Everyone was deeply touched by this gesture of affection from governor of the Land of Church. A resolution was quickly passed on the lawn of the meeting hall to increase the amount of foam padding on the doors so as to alleviate the bloody knuckles of the governor.

The children of the land of Nonabel were tired of the lack of peace and harmony, not just at home, but in the whole kingdom. To them, Sunday mornings were terrible because they hated getting dressed up and the Land of Church was horrifically inauthentic because it was a bunch of fathers and mothers who were doing their duty of being peaceful and harmonious while being hateful and selfish at home. All the tiny provinces of the Land of Church were trying not to upset or offend any other provinces, so Sunday mornings became this putridly boring time of inoffensiveness. Furthermore, they could not understand why in the world no one was inviting the governor of the Land of Church to rule His own province. The children knew exactly where the governor lived and they loved to go play on His playground and sit on His lap and eat His chicken and watch Him make something out of nothing.

In the wake of this situation, some of the children of the Land of Nonabel decided to start their own province and they invited the governor to rule the province. This proved to be a wonderful situation. They didn’t have to dress up anymore, they could be real with the hurt they felt from their parents and the governors and they could really have fun with Him when they got together. More and more people started coming to this province and things started to get a little crazy. The children in the province had a lot of fun and enjoyed their relationship with the governor, but the governor kept asking this annoying question, “Why are you here?” No one had an answer, so they just ignored the question. He would keep asking, “Why are you here?” and still, no answer.

Finally the children got tired of the question, so they said, “Why don’t You tell us why we are here?” And the governor pointed to the archaic manuscript that had been discovered centuries before.

As the children read the book, they loved the wonder of the stories of the governor in all his majestic exploits, especially the ones where He healed people or made the winds and waves be still or made the governors of the other provinces drop their stones. They especially loved the one where He conquered death. As they got to the end of the book, they started reading about their very own province. It was like He had seen it in advance, maybe even planned for it or made it happen Himself. They could see themselves in His story and they could see the insanity that was taking over their very own province. The governor was right! The answer to their confusion was in the Book. But the answer caused them to pause in fear.

“You must trust Me,” He said.

“We do trust You,” the children declared.

“Then you must trust one another,” He replied.

So the children called the governor of the Land of Business to place an order for their own bulk shipment of foam padding.