I Search for God [teddi]

I search for God.
In rainy days with books,
debates and prayers
dirty looks
and condescending stares.
In the heart of intellect,
the corners of the mind,
all thoughts
and words defined.
I search for God.
In the heartbeat or
hymn or chant
or the embrace or tear.
Aching to find God
everywhere
anywhere.
what great fear;
if found nowhere.
I search for God.
Wag my finger at the sky
say
“Make yourself real!”
The heaven’s sigh
at my
unfaithfulness
ungratefullness
unwillingness to believe.
I search for God.
In my church,
in my bookcase,
in my home,
in my head,
in what was just said.
but the truth is,
I want to touch.
I want to touch so much.
I search for God.
He is not seen (in body, nor bones, nor skin.)
So there faith comes in.
Skepticism rapes the mind,
logic strengthens.
Is God left behind?
I recall,
I’m searching for an answer,
I am not meant to find.
I search for God.
Close my mind,
open my heart
to do my part.
Trusting He’s right over there-
over the hill, over the sea,
in my footstep, in my plea,
in my cells, in my very simple
very feeble attempt
at trying to believe.