Condolence [olivia]
I caught your grief like the flu
But I’m just a poser
‘Cause tomorrow I will taste again.
I’ll run the dishwasher without sinking to the floor and staring.
I’ll laugh without remorse.
I’ll look the cashier straight in the eye.
I caught your grief like the flu
And the symptoms came on suddenly.
The smell of Stargazers, a punch to the gut
Those damned sentries flanking a little white coffin.
Smelling of sugar and death.
Of overexposure and loneliness.
I caught your grief like the flu
Guess I’m glad I’m not immune.
The old tape still works.
I blow off the dust and pop it in one more time.
Images grainy, but familiar.
He was real. Beautiful. Beloved.
Remembered.
I've been trying to formulate words all day to describe what is happening in my heart as I read this. The two things that most stick out to me are the ways in which grief intersects our daily life and the false comfort that we can have a tendency to offer to people in assuming that we know how they feel.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. Disaster.
Olivia, this feels like a song? Maybe because of the repeat phrases. I love it...except it's brutal, too.
ReplyDeleteThere are no wasted words here, that's what I love.
wow. just amazing.
ReplyDeleteI always like a piece that helps me put into words
ReplyDeletemy feelings. There are man times that I offer condolences and then go back to my world virtually unaffected. I think that's called coping. But it often make me feel guilty.
I guess I'm lucky (?) because I understand this. I like how you managed to end this with a hopeful feeling. After all that grief.
ReplyDeleteGrief is such an objectively subjective experience. We all feel it the same, and we all feel it uniquely. You can tell when someone truly experiences it though, and you can tell when someone is trying to escape the experience. Thanks for sharing your true experience of grief and for helping me with mine.
ReplyDelete.fav.
ReplyDelete"I’ll run the dishwasher without sinking to the floor and staring."
Olivia, your images are poignant and vivid. You capture how simple mundane experiences get bound up with our emotions. So much feeling in so few lines--you're quite a poet :)
ReplyDeleteMy favorite lines are "Guess I'm glad I'm not immune" and "real. Beautiful. Beloved"
I find it hard to picture you doing this, but honestly this format would work really well in slam poetry.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, this is fantastic. You depict grief very well. It's like this huge, heavy blanket that's cast over everything, you know? No small thing goes untouched.
I love the juxtaposition of sugar and death. Love the emphasis of the last word.
very powerful. i most like - cause tomorrow i will taste again. i'll run the dishwasher. i'll look the cashier in the eye. guess i'm glad i'm not immune.
ReplyDeleteas a reader i would say this poem is rich with flavor. you feel it twist and turn as it is slowly ingested. it burrows violent yet steadily down into your insides. it stays deep inside. thanks. me gusta.
ps. jake's right, you should so share it in spoken word! ;)
I like the struggle between trying to go on with life and stopping to remember and feel and let the "flu" run its course.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, I liked the lines "those damn sentries flanking a little white coffin. Smelling of sugar and death. Of overexposure and loneliness". Really powerful description.